There were two Toronto Catholics, from Little Italy, visiting Rome.
One night in a restaurant, Joe said to Tony, "I think that's the Pope at that table over there." And Tony said, "Don't be crazy. Why would the Pope be eating by himself, in normal working clothes, in a restaurant?"
They argued over this for a while with Joe becoming increasingly insistent.
So he said "I am sure it's the Pope and I am going to go over and speak to him.".
Tony watched and wondered... He saw Joe approach the man, and then turn and come back.
Tony said "Well, was it the pope?"
Joe said with a shrug "We'll never know...
I asked if he was the Pope and all he said was 'fuck off.' "
"G'day mate, Foster's Beer Helpline. What's the problem dude?"
"I'm in Australia with the girlfriend and she's been stung on her bits by a hornet, and now her vagina has completely closed up"
"Good advice mate. Bye"